Sometimes I Wonder...WHAT Am I Doing?! part 2

Some thoughts this morning's message really complete my previous post. So here goes...

If I am struggling to find God's will in some area, it is because He wants me to search harder for it. The struggle to know will result in a deeper assurance that this is it once I do find it.

Proverbs 2:3-7 ~ "Yea, if thou criest after knowledge, and liftest up thy voice for understanding; If thou seekest her as silver, and searchest for her as for hid treasures; Then shalt thou understand the fear of the LORD, and find the knowledge of God. For the LORD giveth wisdom: out of his mouth cometh knowledge and understanding. He layeth up sound wisdom for the righteous: he is a buckler to them that walk uprightly."

Proverbs 3:5-7 ~ "Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil."

Psalm 37:3-4 ~ "Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass."

To trust in the Lord. To delight in the Lord. To commit my life to Him. To acknowledge His control. To pray for the filling of "the knowledge of his will in all wisdom and spiritual understanding" (Col. 1:9). Literally, to do all these things I must cry out to Him and lift myself up to Him. I can do nothing. He can and will do everything.

If my desire is for Him to use my life, I must no longer look at any aspect of my life as my own. What am I keeping for myself? (Gal. 6:8)

The Book answer was what I ended up with after all...

Sometimes I Wonder...WHAT Am I Doing?!

The expression "bored to tears" has become all too real for me the past few months. I am an on-the-go type of person and have always found ways to keep myself busy. I still do. Yet in the midst of all the busyness I somehow find myself looking for more. I don't need more to simply do. I need to be able to put more into what I do. How is that possible? I could find a book answer. After all, everything is plainer on paper. Not to say writing or paper isn't real, but in reality, some things aren't so plain! Seriously though, what can I do?
I love to work. Work that I enjoy is therapy. I can put my heart, mind, and soul into it and be happy and content with life. (Have I ever been truly content? I'm not sure.) My problem is if I spend too much time and energy on work that I absolutely can't stand, I about go crazy. So many people could experience so much more fulfillment in life by spending their days working according to their unique interests and developing methods to more efficiently provide for their families. This would do wonders for individual initiative. Yet here we are, pouring tons of precious time and energy into something often quite unrelated to our family life or passions, just so we can make enough money to pay the bills...
Just thinking about it frustrates me to no end.

I want to find what God wants me to do with my life (which isn't really mine), and I want to do whatever that is with my all. Sometimes it seems hard to figure out what He wants. I know what I want, well, at least I often think I know; but to want what He wants - that is the highest goal - and, as a result, the hardest.

More later maybe. I'm too burnt to figure out quite how to say what I'm thinking.

Spiritual Slavery: Self-inflicted

Ability to do whatever feels right, whatever looks good -now. Being allowed to make our own rules, to decide what is right or wrong. The choice to obey or to disobey authority. The choice to continue a life or to cut it off. All these things are being labeled "freedom." But are they really? I fear the prevailing ideas of our corrupted society have affected believers more deeply than we realize.

The heart of the matter: a matter of your heart.

Rom. 6:16~ "Know ye not, that to whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness?"

Eph. 6:12~ "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places."

2 Tim. 2:24-26~ "And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men, apt to teach, patient, In meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; if God peradventure will give them repentance to the acknowledging of the truth; And that they may recover themselves out of the snare of the devil, who are taken captive by him at his will."

These fruits of the Spirit, patience, gentleness, and meekness, all stem from the peace of mind rooted in total dependence on the Lord. Such attributes are neither weak nor passive. When exercised with all godliness, they are so different from the world that sinners seeking to escape the turmoil of evil will be captivated by the disposition of true Christians.

2 Pet. 2:19~ "While they[wicked people] promise them liberty, they themselves are the servants of corruption: for of whom a man is overcome, of the same is he brought in bondage."

Every Christian's goal: (should be) to be overcome with GOD.

Our method of achieving this goal: to identify and remove anything and everything that takes the place of God in our lives (idols!).

Some questions for you to ponder:

Who or what overcomes me? more specifically...

-What is the first thing I worry about? Why?

-Where is the last place I want to be(that I have to go)? Why?

-Who is the last person I want to see? Why?

-WHAT DO I DREAD? Why?

The answers to these questions can all be traced to roots of pride, bitterness, discontent, doubt, denial of God's goodness, the list could go on...

When fear and anxiety have consumed me, I have ceased to trust in the Lord. The result of this collapse in faith is discouragement - a negative perspective that serves the devil's purpose of detracting from my Christian walk.

Rom. 6:22-23~ "But now being made free from sin, and become servants to God, ye have your fruit unto holiness, and the end everlasting life. For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."

God has given us the gift of serving Him. What an undeserved privilege!

We have a Master Whose joy is to protect us from harm and give us a fulfilling life. Why then do we so quickly return to the tyrant who shackles us with the chains of stress in the dungeon of discouragement?

Satan's all too effective tactic is to appeal to our pride. He cunningly flatters us with lies. "You can handle this." "Don't waste time asking God about that; take care of it yourself." As if we could bear our burdens alone...how foolish...yet how often we believe him.

1 John 2:16-17~ "For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever."

Ps. 55:22~ "Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved."

Right there is a simple command with an unending promise. Active obedience results in active blessings.

Jam. 4:7-8~ "Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded."

1 Cor. 15:57-58~ "thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord."

Fill your mind with the Word. Purpose to find and to do God's will. Be captivated by God. Nothing can take Him from you or you from Him. Nothing can be more freeing than being wholly sold out to the Lord.

A Broken Heart

"He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds."

Ps. 147:3

"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise."

Ps. 51:17

A broken spirit - the realization of utter helplessness; a self-imposed depravity

The Lord desires brokenness because He delights in healing.

True surrender to God can come only from a broken heart.

Brokenness is necessary for a victorious Christian life because the Lord only uses fully surrendered hearts.

Nothing between my soul and my Savior, Naught of this world's delusive dream; I have renounced all sinful pleasure; Jesus is mine, there's nothing between. Nothing between, like worldly pleasure; Habits of life, though harmless they seem; Must not my heart from Him ever sever; He is my all, there's nothing between. Nothing between, like pride or station; Self or friends shall not intervene; Though it may cost me much tribulation, I am resolved, there's nothing between. Nothing between, even many hard trials, Though the whole world against me convene; Watching with prayer and much self denial, I'll triumph at last, there's nothing between.

Life, Light, and Little Things

"But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him. But God hath revealed them unto us by his Spirit: for the Spirit searcheth all things, yea, the deep things of God"(1 Cor. 2:9-10).

What do I really KNOW about my God?
How much in life am I missing because I'm not looking?
How much more could I know about my God if I payed more attention to the little details in life?

I've been realizing that color in life - however drab or dull it may appear - all depends on the light that reflects it. Just as we perceive color by the frequencies of the light an object reflects, so also our view of circumstances relies on our mental illumination. The more time is spent in God's Word, the more we will see God's hand in events and circumstances. We will experience more peace, joy, and fulfillment, and less worry, discontent, and frustration. We will find joy in the little things. Life is a big thing composed of small things. When we miss the small things, we literally miss life.

This is my challenge - to find joy in the little things in the life God has given me; to be content because I have made the most of it. Am I making the most? I don't know. However, I do know that I often become so consumed with this question that the many small details the Lord would use to encourage me slip by unnoticed.
My goal in this area is well described in the words of Jim Elliot: "Wherever you are, be all there. Live to hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God."

A Different Kind of Boredom

The excitement of the holidays having subsided, I dove into the first work week of the new year resolved not to get dragged down. Monday morning, I found myself experiencing boredom - but not from idleness. I was busy, yet bored. My mind swirled with ideas. I mulled over multiple ways to escape this dull state, terrified of the possibility that boredom might crush me to complacency over the winter. I longed to be more active, more time-efficient. I wasn't hyper; I was restless. There had to be something more...

This morning, someone encouraged me to try different hobbies. Then I realized that more to do was not my need. Although I do have vast amounts of energy to make good use of, I also have a mental determination that can far exceed my energy levels. As a result, I am notorious for running myself into the ground.

I realized here that everything I had been contriving was out of selfishness. My ideas were not all necessarily bad ones, but all would have eliminated much time in what is most important to me - my faith, family, and friends. The Lord showed me that I need to be getting the most out of what HE has currently given me to do. He will not give me the next level of challenges until I have (with His help) mastered these. Rather than seeking ways to escape, I need to be seeking ways to excel - here and now!

See Your Calling

"For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called: But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty; And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are: That no flesh should glory in his presence. But of him are ye in Christ Jesus, who of God is made unto us wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption: That, according as it is written, He that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord" (1 Cor. 1:26-31).

Definition of "see" as I am using it here: to perceive (things) mentally; discern; understand.

* See your calling. God - in His providence - called you. Note that this is an undeserved privilege.

* See your status in the world. What's special about you? Nothing really. Seriously, each and every one of the how many million people on the earth is "special." However, being aware that you are nothing in the big picture qualifies you as a useful vessel in the Lord's eyes. (It's called humility.)

"For thus saith the high and lofty One that inhabiteth eternity, whose name is Holy; I dwell in the high and holy place, with him also that is of a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble, and to revive the heart of the contrite ones" (Is. 57:15).

"For all those things hath mine hand made, and all those things have been, saith the LORD: but to this man will I look, even to him that is poor and of a contrite spirit, and trembleth at my word" (Is. 66:2).

* See that it is because of God (not because of you) that you are in Christ (saved).

* See that God made Jesus to be our wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption. He is the beginning and the end! (Rev 1:8)

*See that the Father sees potential in us, not because we are good, but because Christ is good. Of ourselves, we can do nothing. (Jn. 15:5)

* See that only the Lord is worthy to receive glory.

"And the glory of the LORD shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together: for the mouth of the LORD hath spoken it. The voice said, Cry. And he said, What shall I cry? All flesh is grass, and all the goodliness thereof is as the flower of the field: The grass withereth, the flower fadeth: because the spirit of the LORD bloweth upon it: surely the people is grass. The grass withereth, the flower fadeth: but the word of our God shall stand for ever" (Is. 40:5-8).

~What it boils down to~

Even though I'm nothing special, I'm nothing less than everything God has made me to be.

Even though I'm just a wretched sinner, Christ saved me by His grace.

Even though I wander, His Spirit will never leave me nor forsake me.

Because I have not arrived, my heavenly Father will guide me every step of the way.

May all who see these truths see fit to give God all glory!